THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed
to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told
us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the
big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays
up, that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather
Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.
"Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess
and I take orders from no one.'
To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,
"Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you."
"Tray-up, Bitch"
Monday, September 29, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
An Accomplishment
So what's a little 10k on 8/31/08 that started at 8:31:08 around LA?
After weeks of training...we finished the race. I crossed the finish 1 hour and 14 minutes later. I was about 7 minutes slower than my practice race - but this was the story of my race
"Feeling good, passing the 106.7 band van on turn 1 (yay). Man I gotta pee...I'm probably at least 3 miles I can make it.....wait does that mile marker say 2? You're kidding right...ok so I'll stop at a porto-potty."
Making my way to the first set of porto-potties..... "oh look bathro0m (slowing down), oh crap is that a line never mind (speeds back up and runs)
Next set...."another freakin line, you have to be kidding me" (speeds back up)
"okay here we go...there should be more porto potties coming up somewhere and behold a drink table but no porto potties!! (grab some water to splash on the noggin and keep running)"
Mile 5 - okay still no porto potties since about 15 minutes ago....but as I'm passing the restaurants off the street, I think "would they let me in to use the bathroom"....but I just keep running
Mile 6.2 - crossing the finish line - grabbing a bottle of water and there are tons of people EVERYWHERE......porto-potties everywhere.....YES!
I literally could not focus on anything except having to go to the bathroom...hahaha. I remembered how hard core marathoners just pee on themselves so they can keep going and make the time...but I didn't go there OBVIOUSLY.
Anyway come back to enjoy some pics from the race taken by Elmond's co-worker...to be posted soon :)
After weeks of training...we finished the race. I crossed the finish 1 hour and 14 minutes later. I was about 7 minutes slower than my practice race - but this was the story of my race
"Feeling good, passing the 106.7 band van on turn 1 (yay). Man I gotta pee...I'm probably at least 3 miles I can make it.....wait does that mile marker say 2? You're kidding right...ok so I'll stop at a porto-potty."
Making my way to the first set of porto-potties..... "oh look bathro0m (slowing down), oh crap is that a line never mind (speeds back up and runs)
Next set...."another freakin line, you have to be kidding me" (speeds back up)
"okay here we go...there should be more porto potties coming up somewhere and behold a drink table but no porto potties!! (grab some water to splash on the noggin and keep running)"
Mile 5 - okay still no porto potties since about 15 minutes ago....but as I'm passing the restaurants off the street, I think "would they let me in to use the bathroom"....but I just keep running
Mile 6.2 - crossing the finish line - grabbing a bottle of water and there are tons of people EVERYWHERE......porto-potties everywhere.....YES!
I literally could not focus on anything except having to go to the bathroom...hahaha. I remembered how hard core marathoners just pee on themselves so they can keep going and make the time...but I didn't go there OBVIOUSLY.
Anyway come back to enjoy some pics from the race taken by Elmond's co-worker...to be posted soon :)
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